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Archive for April, 2007

Lindsay Lohan: Hey There, Lonely Girl

Poor Lindsay Lohan–she’s 20 and a multi-millionaire, but being an actress is lonely, y’all! So you’ll have to excuse her if she goes out to clubs…because that’s her only release from the cruel, cold world of famewhoredom. She tells Nylon magazine: “Being an actress is lonely, and I never want to be alone. I hate [...]

Britney Spears: Drivin’ is Hard, Y’all!

Britney Spears was pulled over by Beverly Hills cops on Friday night for speeding. On the bright side, she didn’t have a small child propped up on her lap. On the down side, she was let off without being cited. Down side for me, as the story is more hilarious had they ticketed her, made [...]

Brad to Jen: I Want You Back

Life & Style is reporting that Brad Pitt is so sick and tired of Angelina Jolie that he wants to get back together with his ex-whiner wife, Jennifer Aniston. He told Jen this when he broke down and phoned her on April 10th, pouring out his poor, saddened, two-time sexiest man alive heart and saying [...]

Nicole Kidman Has Bad Judgment

I’m not just talking about that whole “I was married to Tom Cruise for 10 years(Tom: It was 9 years and 11 months)” debaucle. I’m not even talking about her deep, abiding love of the Botox (seriously, Nic, your forehead doesn’t move anymore and it freaks me out). No, this is about how–after almost 2 [...]

Britney Works the Boulevard

Seriously, are times that tough that Brit’s become a working girl? I’m thinking maybe she’s watched “Pretty Woman” one too many times and actually thinks she’ll find her Prince Charming working the streets of Hollywood. But, no, apparently this was what Spears wore to go clothes shopping for her kids. Because nothing says “devoted mommy” [...]

Ellen DeGeneres Lies Down on the Job

Ellen DeGeneres hurt her back over the weekend and will do this week’s shows from her hospital bed. Not from a hospital, mind you. The bed will be placed on her set, where she’ll interview the likes of Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan. Wow, what a trooper. And one with fantabulous timing, too–as today starts [...]

Brooke Shields: Just Desperate Enough

Maybe I’m just too sensitive, but if a man went on national television and bitched me out saying I had no career, was a lousy mother, and basically a waste of oxygen, I might not be so willing to bury the hatchet…unless the hatchet was in his head. But I guess Brooke Shields is a [...]

Sandra Bullock’s Husband Victim of Attempted Murder

Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. I mean, it’s Jesse James, the “Monster Garage” guy–what could he have possibly done to make someone want to off him? Not put big enough tires on their truck? The woman who did the attempting, Marcia Valentine, sounds like she’s a few gallons short of a [...]

Angelina Cares Enough For All of Us

At least that’s what I tell myself; I’m quite convincing, too. I actually believe that I speak through Angie and therefore, when she says something good? It’s like I’m saying it. Try it sometime–you’ll feel like a million bucks! So here’s Jolie in Washington yesterday, announcing the launch of Global Action for Children, a group [...]

Jenna Elfman Defends Tomkat

Well, I guess a has-been actress has to keep her name in print somehow. But Jenna Elfman, defender of all things Scientological, is standing up and telling the world “Lay off my good friends, Tom and Katie! They’re happy and in love!” Whatever, Dharma. “They have a great life and they love each other. For [...]

The Beckhams Find Their L.A. Dream Home

David and Victoria Beckham have, at long last, found a house in Los Angeles. The Fam Becks will be heading west in a couple of months for David to play soccer for the Galaxy…even though no one in America cares about soccer. Sorry, but it’s true. Better metrosexuals have tried to make it popular here [...]

The Return of Spinal Tap

Crank it up to 11, baby, because Spinal Tap is reuniting for a performance this summer at Wembley Stadium in London as part of the Live Earth concerts scheduled for July 7th. And as if that wasn’t enough to get you excited (what are you people, made of stone?), there’s also a new 15-minute short [...]

The Alec Baldwin Apology Tour Hits The View

Alec Baldwin taped an appearance for this Friday’s “The View” on Wednesday and apologized, yet again, for the angry voicemail he left for his 11-year-old daughter. God, I am so over this story. Would anybody even be talking about this guy, other than in a passing “Oh, he was funny on ’30 Rock’ last night” [...]

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