Well, I guess a has-been actress has to keep her name in print somehow. But Jenna Elfman, defender of all things Scientological, is standing up and telling the world “Lay off my good friends, Tom and Katie! They’re happy and in love!”

Whatever, Dharma.

“They have a great life and they love each other. For some reason, the media cannot experience that. They must put in things other than the simplicity of it.”

Yes, it’s all the media’s fault. And the public’s for believing them. Oh, and the psychiatric industry, I’m sure. If everyone wasn’t popping Prozac like it was candy I’m sure we’d be believers in true love, too.

Is she done flapping her gums now? Apparently not:

“It’s hard to give a detailed explanation on something that’s simple. Honestly, do any of you have a great boyfriend or girlfriend? It’s not a big deal, right? You have fun hanging out, and you like talking and sharing your ideas. It’s exciting. That’s their relationship.”

Um, Dharm? Aren’t they allegedly married? Why are you referring to them as boyfriend and girlfriend? Oh, that’s right–that sham wedding in Italy (or “shwedding,” for short) wasn’t legal because that country doesn’t recognize Scientology. Thank you so much for clearing that up.

Oh, and in case I haven’t made myself clear: SHUT UP!

In other future ex-Mrs. Cruise news, more pictures of Katie on the set of her bomb-in-the-making “Mad Money”–this time cozying up with her male co-star. Doesn’t she look thrilled? She looks even less comfortable than she does with her husband…and that’s saying a lot!