Prince William: Back on The Market
Prince William and his girlfriend of five years, Kate Middleton, have broken up…thus leaving a Princess-shaped hole in the future monarch’s life. Wasn’t it just like yesterday that everyone was whispering that they were getting engaged? Rumor has it she was getting sick and tired of all the attention her relationship with the Prince brought her. What, did she expect no one would notice? Because you date the dude second in line to the crown of Britain and you really can’t fly under the radar.
I bet they had fights like her whining, “Why can’t we go see ‘Blades of Glory’?” and him being all “Kate…you know how much I love a good Will Farrell movie, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped” and then her going, “You know, that crap was funny the first 3 years, but I have had enough! You’re boring, you’re balding, and I’m just not that into you!” And then she’d go stomping off to party with Harry and he’d go fox hunting with Charles.
Yeah, that’s definitely how I picture their relationship.
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