Ya gotta love Simon Cowell, if for nothing else then for the fact that he doesn’t give a shit about being all sweetness and roses, but just tells it like it is. And this time the victim of his free advice is Britney Spears. He lays out the way she can save her trainwreck of a career:

“Lock the door, don’t go out with your stupid friends, have some home-cooked food, get a sense of reality. Go lie in the garden, okay? And then say to yourself, ‘There’s more good in my life than bad. I’m still a rich, talented girl – now I want to get my career back on track.’ End of story.”

I love that he calls her friends stupid–though I think “waste of DNA” is an even better description. The problem is…well, besides the questionable “talent” part: does Brit really want her career back? She’s such a slacker that I can’t imagine her having the work ethic to put anything into it. She seems perfectly content to just drift through the next few years giving drive-by 15-minute concerts and walking around in her nasty fishnets.