You know, I was a little worried last Friday when no stories surfaced of the future ex-Mrs. Cruise. I mean, with all the sadness in the world, aren’t we entitled to hearing how awesome Katie is? Yes, I think so, too! And, thank god, People came through, in their usual breathless manner.

This time, for a change of pace–if by change of pace you mean same old shit–it was a tale of Holmes buying masses amounts of sweets to take home with her as she finished filming her bomb-in-the-making “Mad Money.” Apparently, Katie–sorry, Kate–ordered eight dozen cupcakes and several pies for the road. Or I should say, her assistant did. Because The Vapid One may have a sugar addiction, but she’s also far, far too busy to actually order something herself. Hell, there are Scientology lessons to learn and…well, that’s it, but still!

While she was on location, Holmes had more than a dozen orders filled and she and Maverick often ordered meat pies from a local deli. Meat pies? Tom? THAT I find totally plausible.

I can’t wait to see what Team We Need Good P.R. comes up with now that Kate is done filming and the cupcake stories are stale. I’m thinking it’s time to rev up the Cruise family soccer outings again.

Xenu help us all.