Archive for June, 2007
Paris is Free
Wonky waltzed out of jail at just after midnight, smiling and waving to a crowd of 200 photographers like she was the newly-crowned Miss America. Yes, our long national nightmare is finally over. Or it’s starting again. Something like that. The release, much like execution watches and slow-speed chases, was broadcast live on various cable [...]
Nancy Grace: Married and Knocked Up
With twins, no less! That’s right, the cranky CNN anchor–who pretty much screams for the death penalty for every crime short of jaywalking (so far)–not only secretly got married in April, but she’s gestating a pair of babes. Her husband is some guy she’s known since the ’70′s and found again on myspace. Ok, I’m [...]
Maddox Jolie-Pitt Gets a Lift
Exercising his rights as Numero Uno Son, Maddox Jolie-Pitt decided he didn’t feel like doing something so pedestrian and common as walking into school…so he had Daddy Brad airlift him there. I like that kid. He always looks as if he’s calculating something behind that smirk of his–like, “Ok, sure, ‘nother bro or sis, fine. [...]
Would You Want Tom Cruise To Play Your Dad?
Considering my Dad is over six feet tall, that would be a stretch–pun intended–but, seriously, the son of the German hero Maverick is set to play in his next “please love me again” movie is not happy about this turn of events. Not at all. See, Tommy is going to play Count Claus Schenk von [...]
Jake and Reese’s Fake Romance Comes To An End
It’s official: Reese Witherspoon has ended her faux-mance with Jake Gyllenhaal. The reason? “She just got out of a divorce and was so concerned with her family, she just didn’t have the time for him and he really demanded that.” Well, isn’t that convenient? It makes Reese look like Mommy of the Year and Jake [...]
Cameron Diaz: International Moron
Cameron Diaz issued an apology to the Peru population for toting around a handbag with the Chinese saying “Serve the People”–a slogan of Chinese Communist leader Mao Zedong’s–on it. Seems Peruvians didn’t take kindly to this, seeing as 70,000 of them were killed in the ’80′s and early ’90′s during a Maoist guerilla movement. Way [...]
Germany Hates Tom Cruise
Apparently it’s not just the family of a German war hero who isn’t keen on Tom Cruise making his new movie “Valkyrie.” No, now the government of Germany is saying “not so fast” when it comes to filming this epic (and by “epic” I mean run-of-the-mill action flick that Tommy so loves to make) on [...]
Tom Cruise & David Beckham Get Their Drink On
Now we know the real reason Scientologists’ abhor Xanax and Zoloft – it’s booze that’s the sure cure – and obviously lots of it.
Paris and Larry King To Chat It Up
After rumors that NBC had paid $1 million to get that anticipated first interview with Paris Hilton after she’s sprung from jail–and more rumors that they had, in turn, canceled it–comes official confirmation that Wonky will sit down with Larry King this Wednesday night–just one day after getting sprung from her lonely, lonely cell. From [...]
The Hoff Is Pissed!
Please note, Dave, I don’t mean to imply “pissed” as in drunk. Let’s get that out of the way up front. I wouldn’t want you threatening to take me to court, ‘k? So, yes, David “hamburgers are yummy” Hasselhoff is steaming mad at a British tabloid for saying he celebrated his custody court victory by [...]
A Changed Paris Chats With Ryan Seacrest
I guess E News ponied up to take a collect call from Paris, as she chatted it up with Ryan Seacrest earlier today for nearly ten minutes. Ten minutes with Seacrest? She must be bored. Not just bored, though, but “proud” of herself for actually–gasp–serving out her sentence. Like she had a choice? “In a [...]
Tom Cruise Likes Balls
Soccer balls, naturally. What else could I possibly mean? Geesh, get your minds out of the gutter, people! So, the new rumor going around is that Maverick is going to pay $80 million dollars and buy the L.A. Galaxy soccer team–the same team BFF David Beckham is to begin playing for shortly. “To have Tom’s [...]
Zahara Jolie-Pitt: Ozzy Fan
Check out Zahara J-P‘s Black Sabbath t-shirt and “hey, you” finger point and grin at the camera. I’m not really a kid person (I know–sacrilege!), but that is friggin’ cute. And I’m just happy the kid has started to show her personality and ham it up. She always used to have such the bitch face [...]
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