Not to mention her very own publicist, obviously–all at the tender age of two thirteen months. The latest story about the wonderful lives of The Wonder Child and her mother–and future ex-Mrs. Cruise–Katie Holmes, comes courtesy of, shockingly enough, People magazine (no! really?) and involves an adventure about shopping, boys and girls. What, no cupcakes? I’m disappointed.

Apparently, on some downtime of her bomb-in-the-making, “Mad Money,” Katie decided she and Suri needed to go shopping and had her assistant alert a children’s store that they’d be there. Because a. Katie Holmes is too important to make calls on her own and b. she needs to be announced, much like the Queen of England. So, much like chickens with their heads cut off, the store’s owners ran around and made a picture fame for the fair Suri, complete with a princess, butterflies and her name across the bottom.

Yeah, I know: Vomit-ville. But keep the gag reflex in check, because there’s more:

“Katie was really friendly. When she came in she walked up and introduced herself and Suri. We probably had three other kids in here. She complimented everybody else’s children and said how cute they were. She was really sweet.

“Katie let Suri walk around. One customer had a two-week-old baby and Suri wanted to pick her up. She would wave at the other children and want to play with them.”

Oh, what a precocious child and her glorious mum!

Are you there yet? Are you just overdosing on the saccharine sweetness of it all? Because, in case you’re not, you will be after this next bit–the part where Suri sent a thank-you note to the shop owners a few days later…on her own embossed stationary. Believe me, I know what you’re thinking and I’m right there with ya!

The note read:

“Dear Melissa and Pam, Thank you so much for the beautiful frame for Suri. It is so sweet and reminds us of our wonderful visit to your store and our time in Shreveport. It was a pleasure meeting you, and we thank you again for this unexpected treasure. Warmly, Katie and Suri.”

Isn’t it amusing that Suri is a ghost baby while in Los Angeles, but travels at will–waving, smiling and entertaining the masses–when outside the city limits?

Yeah, I KNOW!