The party to end all parties–or whatever the hell they’d love us all to believe–was held last night at the Museum of Contemporary Arts. No press were allowed inside, but that didn’t stop the famewhores–er, I mean hosts and guests of honor–from posing outside the event, where it was the same old, same old. Posh and Jada continue to vie for who can look like the bigger tranny, while Maverick and his future ex-wife struck a pose more fitting of old army buddies than husband and wife. And why does The Vapid One’s tomato red dress (terrible color–if she wanted to go with red she should’ve chose a deeper shade) look so ill-fitting? Christ! The way it’s shaped to her body reminds me of when you dress a paper doll (do they even still make those?).

The “A-List” attendees included such Hollywood royalty as Brooke “soul-seller” Shields, Matthew Perry, Vivica A. Fox, Demi Moore, and Jon Voight as the Beaver. Z is the new A, apparently.