Man, she had been doing so well. I was actually kind of proud of her. The black dress for shopping and the fuschia gown in Paris–both homeruns. And then came London. London and this Gloria Swanson-inspired disaster. All that heavy black beading–oy. Where’s her turban? You know, to complete the look.

I mean, I get that it must be difficult to have to get all fancied up on back-to-back nights when you’re just a good old girl from West Virginia and love your jeans and sneakers, but please. It’s your job. And when Rachel Zoe shows you this dress and says it would be perfect? Shake your movie star head and just say no.