Tom Cruise and his future ex-wife, Katie Holmes, never met a party they didn’t like–or at least not one where they could show their pieholes. Yesterday it was Essence magazine’s First Annual Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon. No, they weren’t being honored–though rumor has it someone had to sit down and explain to them they weren’t Black and at least one of them wasn’t a woman (which one is up for grabs)–they were there because their “good friend,” and fellow Scientologist, Jada Pinkett-Smith was (though that woman part is questionable for her, too). And you know Tommy–he never misses a chance to be with his boyfriend, Will. He always just brightens up when he’s around the Fresh Prince. It must be love.

So, as you can see, Kate tried something different with her hair. She curled it. And, somehow, it looks even worse than the poker straight bowl cut. I’m concerned–does this mean Suri is sitting somewhere with perm rods in her baby hair? Poor Suri, save Suri.

And, you know, I hope they don’t bother actually serving Katie a lunch at these things (she’s losing so much weight even her nose seems to keep slimming down. Wait, you mean that pinched, narrow look isn’t natural?). I’m guessing a handful of Niacin and a diet Coke passes for a meal for her these days. Though maybe Tommy just doubles up. A moment on the lips, forever on those womanly hips, Tubby.

Stay tuned for next week when Tomkat makes an appearance at the Asian-Americans in Film Cocktail Party.