Look, I know Jennifer Lopez just had twins and I should be nice and everything, but what’s the deal with her face? And I’m not talking about how she still looks slightly bloated–as, again, she did give birth recently so that’s to be expected. Though she did tell People how she was “in no rush” to lose her pregnancy weight but it sure looks like a majority of it is gone–and she can’t even claim the “breastfeeding just made the fat melt away” excuse du jour, as she opened her pie-hole and let the magazine–and all us plebes–know she was bottle feeding. So, please, she probably started having the personal trainer make daily visits well before she ever claimed she wasn’t even thinking about it.

But, I digress. Back to the face. Last night at the “Shine A Light” premiere in NYC it’s hard not to wonder what she was thinking. I’m talking about the make-up. It’s super extreme, isn’t it? I mean, I know J. Lo (by the way, now that I know she made the baby pictures deal with People on the condition they never call her that again I’m going to do it every chance I get. J. Lo! J. Lo! J. Lo! Ah, that feels good!) fancies herself the new Elizabeth Taylor, but the cat’s eyes, a la Liz, just doesn’t go with the rest of her face. If she wanted to copy her style, why not just slap on a turban and be done with it?

And, now, in the spirit of being nice, I’ll say I like her dress and shoes–if not the skeleton standing next to her. Man, if anyone ever benefited from airbrushing, it’s Marc Anthony–as those People pics clearly illustrate.