Tom Cruise better check his super special security system, as there was a Katie Holmes sighting in West Hollywood Monday. Of course, Tommy’s got his hands full re-negotiating Suri’s contract to care too much about what his Stepford Wife is doing. Yes, I’ve decided the reason we haven’t seen Sur in a few months is because she’s on strike until she gets overtime pay, better health benefits, a pension plan and every other weekend off. Oh, and she wants to be allowed to grow her hair out of the Cruise-cut the whole fam is sporting. She’s given him immeasurable publicity–it’s only fair.

Meanwhile, the future ex-Mrs. Cruise was spotted leaving Joan’s on Third looking her usual vacant, sickly self. If her bodyguard wasn’t there to guide her…yes, I’m quite sure wandering out into traffic would be a distinct possibility. And, I gotta say, I’m REALLY behind on the Spring’s fashion trends, as I didn’t know schmattes that were four sizes too big coupled with baggy leggings, and sandals a size too small (to allow for scary finger-toes to hang over the edges) were the “in” looks. My bad.

Question of the day: Why is Katie’s skin the color of paper-mache paste? Too much niacin? Not enough sunlight? Please submit your answer in twenty-five words or less.