Wow, what a shock! Ashlee Simpson–oops, sorry, Ashlee Simpson Wentz–confirmed tonight that she’s pregnant. Look at the surprised looks on all our faces. I’m aghast, I’m agog, I just can’t believe it. Yawn. What some people will do to stay relevant.

The Simp-Wentzes announced the pending baby on Pete’s blog in typical Simpson-esque fashion:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”

They forgot to add that they were blessed and that the baby was sure to be amazing. Honestly, must I tell them everything? If they want Tom Cruise-size attention, they have to play it up more! There’s never enough adjectives when dealing with matters of publicity. For god’s sake, have they learned nothing from Papa Joe? Who, by the way, you know is already taking bids for baby’s first pictures–if not a front row seat in the delivery room.