Three days in a row of Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen stories. Check to see if the rivers are running red with blood and start saying your goodbyes to loved ones, as this has got to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Denise is now shooting off her mouth to address the insults that Charlie threw at her yesterday–which were the result of her insulting him the day before. Got that? Yeah, I know, it’s complicated. Oh, tee hee, that’s also the name of Denise‘s new reality show (premiering Memorial Day on E!; check your local listings…if you dare). And doing it via Page Six? Klassy!

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold. His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

“He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?”

Are these two trying to make themselves the most annoyingly vile people in America? Because they sure are doing a great job of it.

Denise also claims, again, that she never asked Charlie for a sperm donation, saying:

“I don’t want Charlie‘s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

Is she calling his new fiancee a tranny or herself a prostitute? I’m having a little trouble keeping track of the insults. I may have to start a cheat sheet.

Charlie‘s rep just continues to address that Denise‘s contention of the spermy e-mail being faked is a big, fat lie.

“Denise seems to be denying the existence of [the] e-mail. This goes beyond a he-said-she-said. We have an offer from a [live] TV show. They will bring a computer expert to diagnose the e-mail and to verify it was sent by her e-mail address and to verify it was neither altered nor edited. Computer DNA – it is conclusive.”

“CSI: Sheen” coming to a television near you.