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Tag archive for ‘Suri Cruise’

Suri Cruise: No Rest For The Weary

It must be so difficult to be the child of famewhores. Things like naps cannot interfere with the more important task at hand, that being the almighty, important photo op. Because when the bevy of nannies Mommy takes the time to coordinate matching, prison stripe outfits (oh, the irony), sleep takes a backseat to where [...]

Don’t Look At Me That Way

Everyone’s entitled to a day off, so don’t you give me that attitude, Suri Cruise! Fear not, I’ll be back next week to continue flapping my gums. See you on Monday–and, for god’s sake, ask “Mommy” (or your nanny or whoever is responsible for dressing you) to get you a pair of shorts, a t-shirt [...]

Suri Cruise: Are You My Mother?

So I see by my watch that it’s half past “Suri photo op” o’clock. Poor kid–she doesn’t look like she was in the mood to be trotted out as Daddy’s little proof of virility angel and Mommy’s five million dollar payout glorious girl. Kate Cruise doesn’t look too thrilled, either; then again, these “hands-on mommy” [...]

Suri Cruise: A Publicist’s Dream

You’ve gotta love this latest p.r. strategy by the Maverick and his future ex-wife. They realize how robotic and un-mommy-like she looked during the first year and a half 12 months of her glorious girl’s life, so the key phrase now is “hands-on mommy.” See if you can find anything in the last month written [...]

Katie Couric: A Violent Finger-Pointer

Katie Couric has resorted to physical violence because of frustration over low ratings with the CBS Evening News. And all because a news editor used a word she didn’t like, that being, sputum. “I sort of slapped him around. I got mad at him and said, ‘You can’t do this to me. You have to [...]

Suri Cruise: Looking For The Exit

The Great Cupcake Queen Katie Holmes brought her glorious girl to the set of the bomb-in-the-making “Mad Money” the other day. I thought Princess Suri was always singing and talking and waving ‘bye bye’ to everyone. She kinda looks like she’s not sure who the lady holding her is and if she should start looking [...]

Happy Birthday, Suri Cruise

An open letter to Suri Cruise on this, her 15 month 1st birthday: Dear Suri, Happy Birthday, oh glorious girl! I cannot believe it was one year ago today that your parents (that’s the tall, skinny lady with the messy hair and blank expression and the short, toothy guy with the manic laugh…just in case [...]

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